The past year or so, I can say with at least some level of confidence that my skills and experience as a leader have grown, whether that be in Church, on the Frisbee field, or even as a boyfriend. I’m just trying to figure out how and why.
I’ve learned lots of things that helped me to become the kind of person that people come to, but I think all of them can be summed up into one idea: becoming vulnerable so that others around me can become stronger. I think this can stem from the Truth that Jesus taught when he said “The greatest among you shall be your servant, for those who exalt themselves will be humbled and those who humble themselves will be exalted” (Matthew 23:11-12)
Now, I’m not TRYING to brag that I’m super humble and that God has exalted me. But, I cannot ignore the many blessings that have been given to me.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I think it’s really important for a leader to be vulnerable. The way that vulnerability is shown depends on the situation, though. And perhaps this only pertains the type of leader which I believe I have become. I know I am not the captain that leads the army, but rather a sort of reinforcing member within the ranks. A servant leader is probably what I am getting at.
Yeah, I gotta get back to work (I’m currently typing this up in an “email” box because i’m super sneaky like that). Didn’t mean for this to be so wordy. But, it’s pretty amazing just how far your own vulnerability will take you.
Let me just end with some of the things I have done that I feel has brought me to where I am now.
- Serving in a bunch of different places and capacities through my Church from community service to child and teen mentorship to working behind the scenes with the tech crew. I guess this has given me experience in those fields, as well as exposure to learn from those who lead in those areas.
- Opening up and getting real, when appropriate, during small groups and Bible studies when some of the other guys are not yet comfortable/willing to do so. I’ve never had a problem with saying how I feel (or being embarrassed in general), and I’ve learned that sometimes, people need to know that there is someone else who puts their trust in them before they can open up and trust those around them.
- Simply saying Hi and meeting all the new people that join up for our frisbee games at church. We are constantly getting new people, and our group is a consistent 40ish people which is continually changing. So, I try and learn everyone’s name. I’ve also come to the conclusion that there is no need to worry if I forgot someone’s name (unless I met them like 5 or 6 times already). All I gotta do is ask again, and I think people appreciate that you care enough to actually know their name.
- Something that I’m still working on but learning and putting into practice is how to be the leader to my girlfriend, especially in terms of making decisions that affect us both. I’m annoyingly indecisive, and I also try to be as considerate as possible of the opinion of my girlfriend. Lauren is the same exact way, so this would always end up with basically nothing ever being decided. What I’ve learned is that Lauren prefers and is happier, when I make a decision for us both, rather than continually asking her what she thinks and what she wants to do for a situation. So, it’s more like “Hey, let’s do THIS. What do you think about that decision?” vs “Hey, what do you want to/think we should do for this situation?”. Also, on another note, just being willing to help out with whatever she needs help with and being there for her in all aspects (emotionally, spiritually, etc). Never putting myself above her and thinking I’m too good or too much of a “man” to do something for her.
So, do you guys agree? What do you think makes a good leader in these fields and in general?
Think Like PJ 